Sunday, May 22, 2011

The 3 Questions, Part 3

The three questions students want answered by their teachers, but will never ask.

#3 - "Can I trust you?"

Trust requires relationship.
How is your relationship with your students? Do they come to you with problems big or small?
Can they relate to you as another human being? Do you treat them as you want to be treated?

Thinking of my past experiences has made me realize that the people that I have trusted the most were those that I could relate to in one way or another.

The Golden Rule is an old concept, but still applies! You should treat the students in your classes in the same way that you would want if you were in their position. If you are doing any less then that, is it any wonder that you are having behavior and performance issues in your classes?

Recently, I have been reading a book for my Sunday School class, and the authors suggested that it may actually be more important for adults to earn the trust of their kids than the other way around. As parents, we should be most concerned with the hearts of our children. Unfortunately, sometimes fighting to keep our kids in line overshadows the fact that we are working with another human being and that our complete focus on obedience can have unintended consequences down the road. Obedience is a good goal, but without love and trust, it is a hollow victory.

Sooo.... are you fighting WITH or FOR your students? Are you actually concerned with their heart, their character, or are you just interested in keeping them in line to make your job easier?

I guarantee you that the students in your classroom can tell the difference!

Sunday, May 8, 2011

The 3 Questions, Part 2

The three questions students want answered by their teachers, but will never ask.

#2 - "Do you care about me?"

If I look back on the teachers that I have known in my life, the ones that had the biggest impact on me, I start to find a common thread: They cared about me as a person.

Some may have wanted me to be more intelligent in my choices, some may have wished to give me a piece of their knowledge to help me along in life, others just saw potential and didn't want to see it wasted. All of these teachers cared about who I was and who I might become.

If you think about it, isn't that what every student is looking for? Isn't that what all relationships are based on... caring? I can guarantee you that a student will work harder and be less of a discipline issue when they know that you care.
Don't get me wrong. Not every child will turn into a model student just because you take the time to get to know them better, and some may even rebel against it, but I prefer caring to be being false or cruel.

Let me be clear, this kind of caring has to be genuine and not based on something you want from the kid. ("If I talk nicely, then the class will behave.") Don't confuse caring with being nice. I am not talking about asking kids how their day is or complimenting them on their clothes. Caring is about seeking what is best for the student and taking the time to explain to them why you are doing what you do, not just beating them over the head with your words.

Remember.... kids can sniff out false words like dogs smell fear!